Category Archives: Family/Childrens’ Movies
Hop
I had average hopes for Hop when I went out to see it – I’d heard reviews that were not good, but I expected at least a friendly, silly, amusing but not necessarily intellectual kids’ movie. Kind of fun, you know? About the same level as the High School Musicals. But really, I should have listened to the critics and just avoided it all together. It’s safe to say Hop is the worst film I’ve seen in quite a long time.
Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
The characters are pitifully weak, which is such a shame given the fairly good casting: Hugh Laurie, Russell Brand, Hank Azaria, Kayley Cuoco, and James Marsden – all fairly notable and in some cases talented actors. Marsden plays an uninspired 30-something who still lives with his parents, has no depth and nowhere to go with his life, while Brand stars as E.B., the Easter-Bunny-to-be, who has reckless dreams of running away and becoming a high-profile drummer. They and the rest of the characters are witless, annoying, stereotypical, sexist, and to be honest I didn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for any of them at any stage.
These characters do not support a just as disappointing plot. The end of the story is divulged in the very first scene, and left the rest of the story predictable. I found myself pinpointing the unremarkable twists before they even happened and wondering why I was still sitting there watching something so unoriginal and boring when I already knew what was going to happen next.
The main problem I had with the plotline was right at the end, when E.B. decided to go against the only important side of his character, his drumming ability, drop all his dreams that had set up the basis for the film, and say to his father that he was ready to become the Easter Bunny. It felt to me like the whole story was for nothing, and that E.B. was nothing but an opinionated idiot who only wanted to defy his father for the sake of being contrary.
The writing is shocking, and there are so many sore attempts at being funny, but I don’t think I laughed once. It was so sad, because I could spot so many different ways they could have taken parts of the story to make it funnier, but they kept failing to do so. The comic timing was horrendous and I just wanted to slap E.B. in his fuzzy face.
The animation is colourful and involved, which is excellent, and really helped me when I was so bored with the rest of the film that I resorted to only taking in the colour and movement of the thing. I know small children will love the adorable characters and bright, candy-filled worlds, so I have to concede that Hop probably is accessible and fun for very young kids. However, there are two animated family films out these holidays, Hop and Rio, and Rio is enjoyable for the entire family rather than just the little ‘uns. I can’t see why you would take your kids to see this instead of Rio. Parents, I beg you to consider your sanity. You will not survive Hop. You’ll want to walk out, but you know you won’t be able to. Instead, you’ll have to suffer through lame jokes and a bottom that will undoubtedly fall asleep. GO AND SEE RIO INSTEAD. IT’S FUN.
I think I’m all ranted out – for obvious reasons, I’m sorry that I have to give Hop 1/5 stars. I was expecting more, and I am disappointed. This movie is a waste of money and time.
Rio
Rio is the latest family animation from the Dreamworks team. Traditionally Dreamworks animations are not as well received as Pixar animations, and I know that I usually compare the two whenever a movie comes out. Pixar has a kind of magic that Dreamworks sometimes lacks, so I wasn’t sure about what I expected from Rio.
The story is of a domesticated, and therefore flightless, blue macaw (Blu) who is the last male of his species and needs to be flown to Rio de Janeiro to mate with the last female (Jewel). Unfortunately a band of bird smugglers want to get their hands on the pair, and the movie follows Blu and Jewel as they try to escape the smugglers and get back to Blu’s owner, Linda.
My favourite element of the movie was Jemaine Clement’s voice acting as Nigel, the evil cockatoo aiding the smugglers. Nigel was so funny, and EVIL, and easily the best thing about the movie:
The other voice actors were good I guess, apart from Anne Hathaway as Jewel. I love Anne Hathaway but I think you need to be able to see her to get the full impact of her acting. Her voice just wasn’t as interesting as the others. She’s definitely a live-action kind of girl.
I wasn’t actually aware that Rio was a musical, even though I’d seen the ad. And in fact the music seemed to take a back seat, which I found really odd. If you want a musical film, make a musical film, not a film with songs in funny places. There just didn’t seem to be a lot of effort put in and I wanted it to be, well, more.
The animation itself was fantastic and colourful, and the story was heartwarming, but it didn’t strike me as magical. Pixar has set the bar so high with animated pictures that anything that doesn’t have that same magic seems lacking.
Rio was enjoyable in the moment, and certainly a fun holiday film for the family, but I don’t have a lot more to say about it than what I’ve already said. It wasn’t striking or memorable, and I think in the long run it will probably fade into the background of animated films rather that stand out with the likes of something like Wall-E or Toy Story.
But it was a laugh and a good thing to see on an otherwise dull Tuesday afternoon, so I have to give it 3/5 stars.
xx
Za
Tangled – And Promises
Oh hey – remember that time that I said I was going to post every week? Do you remember that time? That was such a good time, those many months ago when I said that was what I was going to do…
And of course, I never did keep that promise, and of course I didn’t post every week. Terrible of me. And really, judging by the number of movies I see, I SHOULD be posting at least twice a week. I have enough content to post at least twice a week. Therefore, even though I know you won’t believe me
(what good am I at keeping my word?) I promise that I will try to post twice a week, from now on. And if not, I will post at least once a week. Let’s set a day for those once-a-week posts, shall we, to give me some incentive – how about… Wednesdays? Yep, Wednesdays are good! I get home from
school early on Wednesdays, so that should give me plenty of time. Also it gives you a little light entertainment in the middle of the week when you’re the most bored out of your mind.
So there you go. I’ll post at least once a week, on Wednesdays. I give you my word. And if I miss a Wednesday I’ll write two reviews to both be posted on the Thursday as a punishment.
Happy? Good.
Now – Tangled.
I can definitely see Tangled becoming a classic Disney movie along with The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and the other Disney princess films. It has that effervescent charm and undisputable warmth that is so essential to the name of Walt Disney.
It’s a sweet story based on the classic Rapunzel – but of course, as with every other Disney-fied fairy tale, they have modified it to make it more appealing to little children in general, but particularly little girls who love this kind of stuff. This means cutting the violence (Was there violence in the original Rapunzel? It usually turns out that the original fairy tales are pretty gory. My friends tell me that the dwarves raped Snow White in the original. But who knows, my friends don’t usually tend to be a reliable source of information.) and adding cute animation, pretty girls, and musical numbers.
And I don’t know if it’s the little girl in me talking, rebelling against the fact that I’ve hardly seen any of the classic Disney princess movies apart from the first 20 minutes of The Little Mermaid, but I really, really enjoyed the cutesy, girlish elements of Tangled. The music was catchy, the animations were adorable, and the simple, childish storyline was refreshing in a world like ours, where children seem to grow up far too quickly.
The characters were lovable and I really felt for Rapunzel and Flynn Rider, her love interest. Their relationship was innocent and romantic. And doesn’t every girl dream of spontaneously breaking into song about their true love? Disney manages to constantly present an image of idealistic love in
their films that no person with a soul can dislike. Everybody wants to be loved the way Flynn loves Rapunzel. Fact.
The plotline is simple and predictable, but if anything this adds to the charm. I don’t want to be distracted by an in-depth story when there are pretty colours and music to think about. But this may just be my little girl talking again. The characters were so appealing that I still cared about them even
though I knew what road they were going to follow. The plot didn’t need Inception-esque detail to achieve that.
I liked this movie, my little brother liked it, and I think it really hits the mark for its target audience of young children and families. Families will love this, regardless of age, I think. Because of this and everything else I’m giving Tangled 4/5 stars. Definitely worth buying the DVD – a classic that will sit
on your shelf for many years.
xx
Za
P.S. I’m serious about the Wednesday thing. Just you wait.
Tangled
Tangled is awesome. It has lots of singing, and that’s cool, and I have no idea what to say now.
It’s about Rapunzel. She can sing. She has crazy long blonde hair, and she lives in a tower with her tiny, cute, adorable chameleon called Pascal. Very cute.
All she wants to do is get out of her tower, and see the floating lanterns on her birthday, and makes a deal with Flynn Rider to do that.
You have to see the rest.
It’s very, very sweet, and it is basically Rapunzel, with more back-story and stuff. It’s good, and the music is great, and I really liked it.
I’m giving it a 4.5/5, because I like it, but I don’t exactly love it. But it’s really, really, good.
And I’m bored.
Jo
Despicable Me
Herro!
Last night, I saw Despicable Me. It was just awesome, with the cuteness overload and the plot and OMG THE CUTENESS!!!!!!!
*WARNING! THE FOLLOWING REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS*
Plot: Mr Gru wants to steal the moon. Using a shrinking gun/laser. Who some other bad guy has, called Vector. So he tries numerous ways to steal it, each ending in failure, until he notices three little orphan girls selling cookies. They get in.
CUE THE LIGHTBULB!
Anyway, he adopts them, and at first he hates them, but they grow closer, and become a happy family. SO CUTE.
But complications arise when Gru becomes a little …. too distracted by the girls, as well as the fact that the shrink effects are temporary. Which is discovered after the Moon is shrunk.
I can’t be stuffed to say anything else, so you should REALLY GO WATCH IT!!!!
Fave character: I’d have to say Agnes, or the minions.
Agnes:
Minions:
Fave scene: When Gru reads them a story book with puppets.
Also when Agnes wants/gets her unicorn toy.
Fave baddie: Gru counts. He’s a baddie.
Fave machine: The squid gun!!!!!!!
Fave explosion: At the end, when the Moon returns to its original size
Fave quote: “It’s so fluffy I’m gonna DIE!” – Agnes
And stay through the credits! 3D is really good there, but actually, no where else. Just the credits part.
And for the quote/scene :
I would add some more, but that would ruin the movie.
GO WATCH!
BE ASTOUNDED BY THE CUTENESS!!!!!!!!!
4.9/5
It would get a 5/5, just because IT’S SO CUTE, but when he gives them back, it’s just so… not very emotional. I think that they could play on Gru and the girl’s emotions a little more.
Rawr,
Jo
Despicable Me
Hello again.
Last Saturday, I went to see Despicable Me.
It’s a GOOD MOVIE, in CAPITALS, and you should all see it.
PLOTLINE:
In Egypt, it has just been discovered that the Great Pyramid has been stolen and replaced by a lifesize, inflatable replica. meanwhile, there’s this guy called Gru who’s really evil. (Well, not really, but hey, that’s what he thinks.) He discovers this, and starts trying to thing up a plot to out-evil this mysterious evil guy. He finishes up with:
STEAL THE MOON!
Unfortunately, this is going to be hard, unless the thing’s a whole lot smaller. So he starts trying to steal a shrink ray from a guy called Victor. Or Vector, as he calls himself.
There’s a fight over the shrink ray, involving cookie robots, a fart gun, a ticket to a dance recital,and some healthy head-freezing. Quite hilarious. Also playing a significant part in the story are Margo, Edith and Agnes, 3 girls from an orphanage, who are adopted by Gru when he sees that they can get into Vector’s lair by way of cookies. Now you see the need for cookie robots. Gru ends up treating the girls as real daughters at the end, and it’s quite happy-sad-nice.
4.9/5.
H.
Toy Story 2 & 3
In the holidays, I saw Toy Story 3 and 2, and I thought both of them were great. They’re both really funny, and captivating, and Toy Story 3 was heaps better than I expected.
Toy Story 2 is when Woody is stolen by the Chicken guy, and almost sent to Japan. Along the way we meet Jessie, and Bullseye, and another Buzz, and his dad, Zurg, and the bad guy, Stinky Pete. Woody doesn’t want to go to Japan, but Pete tries to stop him. Naturally, the day is saved by normal Buzz and the rest of the toys.
And in Toy Story 2, we meet the adorable little aliens, who take to Mr Potato Head after being rescued by him. They are the cutest.
Toy Story 3 is when Andy is off to college, and all the toys are left behind, and almost thrown out. They make their way to Sunnyside Daycare thingy, and it seems perfect, but Woody is loyal to Andy, so he leaves. Anyway, Sunnyside isn’t all it seems, as head bear Latso is more than just a friendly old toy. At the end, ignoring the journey, the toys are headed towards a big inferno, where rubbish is burned. It’s really touching here, because all the toys hold hands, but then the adorable little aliens rescue them, using “the claw”.
I’ll try not to spoil it anymore, so I’ll try and wrap it up. Like I said, I think all the Toy Story movies are really epic. They’re not just for little kids, they can be for anyone with a sense of humour (or not). Really funny, interesting and overall awesome.
I’m sorry it’s a bit short, but I’m giving it a 5/5 (gasp).
Jo.O
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
My older brother went out to see Robin Hood last night (unfortunately he mostly thinks Kids Go Moo is lame so little chance of him posting a review) so my mum bought us the DVD copy of Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs and we stayed home and watched it.
Cloudy features a wannabe scientist named Flint Lockwood who is in desperate need of a big break and a girlfriend. Luckily, a perky weathergirl comes along and gives him both of those things. She televises his invention of turning water into food (thus making it rain food), even when the invention starts to go wrong. In the end, they all live pretty happily ever after.
Everyone in my family had the same favourite part, which was hilarious. Flint makes it rain burgers for the first time and everybody in the town is amazed. Then, somebody in the background yells, “This tastes significantly better than sardines!” which is what they’ve been made to eat for years.
I don’t know, it was funnier on screen. I’d post a video of it, but I couldn’t find one.
This actually has a really wide target audience. It’s very funny. Like, seriously funny. I wish I had more to say about this movie, but it doesn’t take much to reach this conclusion:
Cloudy is an excellent animation that is great for all ages and will give everybody in your family a laugh.
Great. Buy it on DVD or Blu-ray. 4/5.
xx
Za
Alice in Wonderland 3D
I’m very lucky I got to see Alice in Wonderland yesterday, only the second day it was out in cinemas here in Australia.
OK, before any of you get cocky and say “It wasn’t as good as it was supposed to be” or “It was a bit of a let-down”, I’m going to return to the reason I made this website.
Kids think differently from adults. Kids like different things. Kids don’t care if the “start was sluggish” or the “leading girl was confused” (thanks, RT critics), they want to know a story. I want to know a story. I think differently from grown-ups. I like different things. I am a kid.
So. Here is my review. A kid’s point of view.
First off, the 3D was AMAZING. It always is. Just thrilling. You could see inside the screen.
Secondly, Alice herself was gorgeous. Pretty and kind of… out of it? Like Luna in Harry Potter. AND the actress is Australian! Yeah!
Thirdly, Johnny Depp is such a great actor. Especially for weird characters. He does the Mad Hatter so well.
And finally, I loved the whole movie. So racy and weird and funny and cool. Definitely a winner. 4/5!
The funniest thing, however, was the way the White Queen (Anne Hathaway) walked, with hands in the air. See?
xxx and enjoy the moovie,
Za
