New Year’s Eve

I am normally on top of rom-coms. I am all over them like a cat on a baby. I love them. They’re great. I’m having trouble finding nice things to say about this rom-com, though.

First off, it’s not really a rom-com. There are two parts to romantic comedies – romance. And comedy. Romance, it’s got. Chocablock full. More romance than you can shake a cheese at. Comedy? Hm.

Don’t get me wrong, I did laugh. At Abigail Breslin’s self-conciousness. And Katherine Heigl’s badly-done hair. And the fact that Jessica Biel kept pushing her fake belly IN, making it very very obvious that it was just a sack of lentils.

No, I am being a little bit mean. There are in fact some funny moments. But you’ll only really giggle half-heartedly at them, and you’ll only really do that if you’re in a cinema that’s quite full, and everybody else is giggling half-heartedly, and you just don’t want to stand out from the crowd.

But the lack of actual humour isn’t even my main problem with New Year’s Eve, it’s that it is, without a doubt, an exact copy/paste of Valentine’s Day. Just pasted onto a different holiday. The same cast, the same crew, the same format, the same storyline(s), the same heart-squishing sugar cuteness – only this time it’s getting a bit old. And they’ve added a couple of vomit-worthy musical numbers (I kid you not). And Valentine’s Day was just a poorly-Americanised Love Actually, so really NYE is just a copy of a copy. A bad copy of a bad copy. It’s unbearable.

And such a wonderful cast too, just wasted on an unchallenging script and poor direction. Their are “more celebrities than rehab”, and with some exceptions (can I get a Hilary Swank-induced shudder) they all have measurable talent. But their performances are heartbreakingly poor in New Year’s Eve. Michelle Pfeiffer is the most uncomfortable to watch, which is so sad, but on the plus side Zac Efron as her character’s young protégé is pleasantly surprising. I think people expect far less of Zac Efron than he is capable of, me included, but we’re seeing him come further and further out of his tweenie shell all the time.

All this aside, it can’t be denied that in some ways this movie is perfect. I went to see it with my mum after she’d had a tiring day, and it was a perfect girly thing to do to cheer her up. It’s a fun sleepover movie. It’s got a certain lack of intelligence that means it’s not confronting, or challenging, and it serves its purpose of pure escapism. It’s fun to name the stars and to wonder at how big Abigail Breslin’s gotten. It’s nice to perve on Zac Efron and Ashton Kutcher (even if his beard does make him look a bit homeless). It’s the definition of chick flick. On pure enjoyment, it rates pretty high. That’s why I have to give it a 2.5/5.

I know, I know. I’m hopeless.

xx
Za.